I remember my very first photo-shoot. I never wore really nice lingerie and when I did I only had one outfit. My girlfriend did a shoot the week prior with Natalia and she said she would do it again if she had the money. She went on to tell me it made her feel sexy, secure in her body and safe. I contemplated the idea for a week, trying to say all the reasons why I shouldn’t get it done. In my head was replaying thought’s that were stuck in there from my childhood years, your ugly, your not pretty enough to model, you don’t have the body for it, this will be a waste of money, a waste of my time, they will judge me, they will look at me with discuss, what if they don’t like me….leading down into “I’m not good enough”. These stories were implanted in my head from what I heard other people say to me. My brain didn’t know how to re-write them until another experience was formed and then my thought process would start to re-write.
Natalia offered a package deal that was cheap in the industry but expensive to me. There was hair, makeup and 10 edited photos included. I was nervous, unsure on what to think or bring. I asked the photographer what to bring and she gave me all the details, bring different dresses, lingerie, heels and whatever you want to be shot in. I thought, paused and said okay, while remembering I had one lingerie in my drawer, different underwear and a pair of heels I just bought, basic black platform. I got my hair done a few weeks before to make sure it was nice and full. I had no idea what to expect, but thought, with a nervous laughter, ‘I can have nice photos then and show people… or not’.
I arrived and everything was surprisingly welcoming, warm, effortless and I felt great! I never showed that much skin to a total stranger before, in daylight, and I was actually enjoying myself. The photographer’s colleague helped do hair and makeup as we discussed, chatted randomly and I showed her what I had. I spent a good 2 minutes just staring blankly in the mirror after my first change, which was my lingerie. Those old programmes were running again, I breathed, breathed and breathed some more. Till I went out and she asked how I was, I looked at her in pure vulnerability and said “I don’t know what I am doing, this is my first shoot and I am really nervous.” She smiled at me sweetly and said “Awesome!”. I looked at her confused. She said “I am honored I get to be your first and pop your cherry, so to speak, and help you with this. I know presenting yourself in front of a stranger may be overwhelming, let me know if you need anything and we gotcha girl. Have you really looked at yourself yet? Your beautiful, look at those legs! And I will help you with positions. I don’t expect anything from you except t show up and have fun.” I looked at her smiling and taking in what she just said. I looked at my pictures throughout the shoot and I saw what she did. I felt as if those thoughts, old patterns were lessening, getting dimmer and new ones where bursting through.
I laughed so hard I fell over at one point, we had a blast for 4 hours. We discussed life, love and passion. She told me I might seriously think to become a model as well. I laughed and said my best friend actually said the same thing and I always thought I couldn’t. He always said why not. If you don’t try of course it won’t happen, if you try and didn’t go anywhere from it then that’s okay because your mind was already there anyways. But what if you succeed, what if you do grow into it and you do it for fun. The photographer told me I had it in me, and I appreciated her compliments, her wisdom, honesty and strength. That shoot changed my life a bit, as old patterns shifted, boosted my confidence and I learnt a thing or two on makeup, hair, body position, lighting and how my body looked. I couldn’t remember the last time I payed that much attention to my body, and she loved it.
Needless to say, I built up my portfolio and have been modeling for about 4 years now, for fun, for free and for pay. Ever shoot I have I love, as I get to be sexy, I get to be sassy, I get to be quirky. I have amazing photographers that shoot my great angels and I chat about life with. I have built up my lingerie collection and now I have no idea how much I have. I just enjoy my body, playing and creating art. Ever shoot I have I come out on a high, a high on life, and feeling amazing.
Some suggestions to consider if you’re going to give it a go:
1)Lingerie for your body type, heels will elongate your legs, plump up your bum and give a sense of taller.
2)Research posses you want to try. Keep some on your phone to look back to or show the photographer.
3)If you don’t know how to do H/MU (Hair and Makeup), I highly recommend getting it down before the shoot.
4)Find a photographer that talks you through it, compliments you and helps you along the way.
NOTE: no photographer is allowed to touch you, even to adjust something, without consent.
5)Water! You don’t realize how much work it can be. They say “If it’s awkward and hurts, it probably looks great on camera”, trust them and check the photo.
6)Prepare before the shoot. Don’t eat a huge meal, if anything, a protein bar or shake. Something small and light.
7)Bring it! Give yourself a pep talk and see what thoughts are coming as they could be just thoughts.
8)Have fun!
Have fun, be playful and get confident!
Love more, Fear Less.
Veronica Chase