DDLG = Daddy Dom / Little Girl
Updated: Oct 21, 2020
~ Research into the daddy/ girl dynamic in kink ~
First and foremost I want to be clear that this is not a minor, these are adults acting and ‘playing’ into a scene that revs their gears up a notch, by playing into a fantasy of being either a ‘little girl’ or a ‘daddy’. Daddy Dom and Little Girl (DDLG) have been known to act out, be disciplined, and more. These dynamics usually only goes towards the kink side and not always moves towards sex. DDLG also plays in a close relationship to BDSM.
To understand the dynamic of this I went to the source! Meaning I spent some time with some kinky folks who are actively in a type of DDLG dynamic. Yes, there are different types! I also did my research online and surprisingly there is not much said about this dynamic and how its broken down, besides their respective roles.
Soooo here we go in order!
A Brat: The type who is a submissive bratty bottom. Misbehaves, gets punished by their daddy (or mommy) and talks back. Almost like a teenager.
A little: Sweet and childlike role. May dress up. Caring/ taking care of each other's needs, getting attention and care they need/ crave. Dom Daddy’s imposes masculine positivity (or for mom’s, imposes feminine nurture).
An Autonepiophilia (Infant self) or baby: Get aroused by infantilism such as crawling, babbling, bottle feeding and wearing diapers. They want a ‘Mommy’ or ‘Daddy’ or ‘Nurse’.
These mimic the nurturing side of relationships and allow a little to let go of daily responsibility of life.
Three other terms that correlate with the above are used in the lifestyle/ kink community as well:
A Big: No age regression, wants to be related to as an adult who’s joking about being a child.
A Middle: Age regression to teenagerhood and can relate to “A Brat”.
A Child/Little: Age regression to a child mind. Can be non-sexual kink. This can rage and relate to “A Little”.
Now here is the fun part! Like it wasn’t already getting frisky in the sheets.
Creating the space for a little; be it stuffies, crayons, toys, string cheese, you name it! It's where your little self can play and escape the responsibilities/ stress. Let your Dom take care of you and your Sub side.
I have been to houses dedicated to kink or fetishes. One room was made up like a kitchen and dinner table while having a changing table for baby play, with bottles being dried on the rack beside the sink. While another room would have bunk beds with stuffed animals, child toys, bedtime books, and dress-up clothes. A third room would be set up with a dungeon, a doctor's room – and yes with everything you can imagine from lab coats to dental chairs -, a cage, a full-on riggers set up, spank bench, St. Andrews cross, whips chains and you name it. It was as if you were walking into another world of imagination and playfulness. Of course, with respect to the house rules, if a scene was being done in a room you may not enter unless asked to. Upstairs were rest and aftercare rooms, that were ‘normal’ for calming down and or resting/ after chat/ snuggles.
All this being said, what about the people? Who is a ‘Daddy Dom’ (DD)?
Daddy Dom’s take on the role of the caregiver/ parent. He protects her and set’s rules, such as how much TV a little can watch and what punishments to have if the rules are broken. Punishments could be anywhere from a time-out, no phone, no dessert, a spanking (if permissible within the agreement of a DDLG. He teaches her about life and guides her into different perspectives through his wisdom, even if adult life is a question. Basically, protects his little from harm, such as a parent, and helps with basic needs of life. He is very respectful and kind to his little, be it politeness or just understanding he holds no judgment and encourages playfulness. A DD has patience but enforces the structure with boundaries and rules, as well as encourages the little to try new things.
If it's sexual, a DD might hurt her by spanking or biting but would never harm her, but more show her the education and learning of a sexual sense. Both DD and LG would have talked about soft and hard limits from the start in order to understand the consensual flow of the relationship. “You also want to be aware of any limitations or medical issues that affect your partner in case an emergency should arise during a scene, just as you would to know if your vanilla date is allergic to specific foods”(Lolita Hayes 2013).
Do you have or know what a Negotiation Checklist might be? Wouldn’t it be nice to know your Dom or Sub’s desires?
Well, look no further as here’s your intro to it. You can check out how to communicate your desires here.
A BDSM scene Negotiation Checklist has a few parts, in which whomever is involved fills out:
· Your role
· Your current health and medical history, including medications/medicines your taking
· Your emergency contact information
· Your limits, soft and hard (location, # of partners, etc.)
· Your likes and dislikes
· Confirmation of your safe word and or actions (non-verbal)
Just keep in mind that having something in place and talking about it may help smooth into things but there will be bumps to navigate through as you explore each other and enter this dynamic. Allow for growth and change.
Now that you know about DD, who is a ‘little’?
They act innocent and love to be taken care of. A ‘little’ as described above can have different roles based on what the little preference of age regression. She feels safe with her DD, can act like a little, brat or baby with guidance and encouragement, and are submissive. Littles are silly, bratty, playful, likes cuddles, follows the rules, breaks the rules and gets punished for it. They respect and trust their Daddy for guidance and can let go of responsibility. Being a little you look up to your daddy for protection and support. Little’s tend to “slip into headspace” of a little, as if it's an alter ego, and submit into her role and let go. Note of advice for DD, pick a punishment the little does not like if they are pushing your buttons.
One thing to discuss is when and where this dynamic will be located, as some don’t play roles in public and some others would. What are the ground rules? Do you have a get in/out space safe word(s)?
Again, to say these are consenting adults who care for each other and use the labels as such. This is not incest or pedophilia to be clear. This does not mean they want to have relations with their parents or have trauma from their parents either. This is a common misconception in the Caregiver/ little (C/L) world.
Other terms used for Caregiver/ little or C/L?
DDLG= Daddy Dom Little Girl
DDLB= Daddy Dom Little Boy
MDLG= Mommy Dom Little Girl
MDLB= Mommy Dom Little Boy
I hope this helps your DDLG minds and gives you some insight and understanding to a possibility within the lifestyle of BDSM. If this does not drive your gears, that’s ok! As it's not for everyone and that’s why there are so many kinky things to lean towards and try. On that note,
Play safe, play consensually.
-Veronica B. Chase
· Dainis "Sexual Alpha" Graveris from sexualalpha.com
· Write on “Beginners guide to Daddy Dom and Little girl relationships”
· Types of “Daddies” – Exploring Age play Archetypes, part two, by Daddy Vinnie 2013
· Types of “Littles” – Exploring Age Play Archetypes by Lolita Hayes 2013
· A little guide of being little, by Kawaii crybaby Mar 2018