Sexuality and sexual orientation used to be a strictly personal matter, even a taboo subject to discuss. Nowadays, people are tending to be more open about their sexuality or rather their sexual orientation. The very fact that society is now ready to accept such conversations has contributed to people being more open around their troubles, needs and thoughts on sexual orientation.
In this article, bi-sexual men and bi-situational sexuality will be our main focus. However, bi-situational sexuality does not just refer to those born as men. We’re going to hit this topic from different angles and introduce some ideas and concepts that the vast majority of people may not be familiar with.
Nature's 'Sex Drive'
Sex drive is an important mechanism that nature itself has planted into us to preserve life. If you think about it, nature wants us to survive and reproduce. Nobody can argue against that. For reproduction to happen, mating has to happen. For matting to happen, all creatures need to have the drive or rather desire to have sexual intercourse.
Without getting too much philosophical here, sex drive is a common force amongst all humans no matter their sexual expression. Heterosexual men and women have this drive. Homosexual men and women have the same drive. The only thing that changes is the subject that this drive is directed to.
Bi-Sexuality
We call a person bi-sexual when they express their sex drive towards both genders. For example, a man is labelled as bi-sexual when he feels sexually attracted to both women and men.
Generally, a bi-sexual man is not considered homosexual as the term refers to men who only feel sexually attracted to other men. So many terms have popped up about sexual orientation and sexual expressions, such as LGBTQ or LGBTQIA. However, for now, let’s keep it simple and to the point.
Despite the above, there is lots of folk discussion about men who are bi-sexual. Some people consider them to be secretly gay who are afraid to admit it for their own reasons. These people often refer to bi-sexual men as half gay.
Another distinction to make clear is that bi-situational men are not the same as bi-curious men. The term bi-curious is used to describe someone who finds himself in a state of self-discovery and is not sure whether he would enjoy sexual intercourse with other men. Bi-situational is how it sounds, it’s all about the situation that arises and if it jives.
Bi-sexuality is legit and there is an equal chance for a bi-sexual man to feel attracted to women and men. There is also, Demisexual, where someone feels sexual attraction to someone only once they’ve emotionally bonded. As well as Pansexuality is the attraction to an individual regardless of their gender.
Everyone has their own unique perspective and beliefs on this matter. However, let’s stick to the facts. I would argue that every single bi-sexual man out there is a completely unique psych that has their own way, value, and beliefs on what it is to be bi-sexual.
I’ve met bi-sexual men who only turn into bi-sexuality when a woman is present in the sexual situation. Hence why there is bi-situational as well. As you can see, it’s unique.
And this leads us to:
Bi-Situational Sexuality
You don’t have to dig too deep to figure out what this term refers to. It refers to bi-sexuality which only occurs under certain situations. Seems like sexuality is not something that is fixed. This exact term explains that someone’s usual sexual orientation may change under certain circumstances.
For example, a man might not be gay or even bi-sexual but that would not automatically pre-suppose that he may not be involved in sexual intercourse with another man under certain conditions or situations.
An important side note here. Bi-situational sexuality is not the same thing as bi-sexuality. So, a heterosexual man can have a threesome with another woman and another man. However, that doesn’t mean that the heterosexual man would like to be involved with the other man’s genitals. Even to the degree of touching them with his hand or sucking them off.
This is where this term presents its limitations. Bi-situational sexuality runs the mind to think that it should be referring to situations where people of the same gender touch each other sexually, even under the presence of a person of the opposite gender. There are actually many factors that come into play, like the spark of the moment or a little bit of alcohol or drug consumption which can alter the mind’s perception on matters such as sexuality.
Bi-Sexuality vs. Bi-Situational Sexuality
We can view bi-sexuality as a realization. A bi-sexual man is already aware that he feels attracted or, at least, would enjoy having sex with another man.
Bi-situational sexuality is the exact opposite, somewhat. Circumstances bring two men together- maybe under the presence of a woman- and they all indulge into sexual activity. Which is normal if that’s ok with you and the other.
What we are starting to understand is that sexual orientation and expression are gaining more and more buzz around them. This is a good starting point for society to take the next step and become a free society for people who find it hard to identify themselves.
In ancient Roma empires this was normal but along the way, it got squashed by religion and beliefs. The important note to keep here is that everyone should be free to come out as their true self without the fear of getting judged or mocked.
We need to change our perception on what’s considered normal and start shifting our awareness on how we can solve problems. How people can explore their true nature and how they can cope with it without having to struggle with unnecessary personal or societal pain.
I’m sure it’s not going to be easy, but I do get curious about how the world will look in 20-30 years. What will these ideas become? What new ideas will have surfaced? It’s all a mystery of the future.
Summary
In this article, we had a quick overview on bi-sexuality and bi-situational sexuality. It’s nearly impossible to cover everything that can come up when we talk about such concepts.
We differentiated between the two of them and we made a clear distinction about what each of these terms refers to.
Bibliography
Klein, Fritz. (2012). The Bisexual Option: Second Edition. USA. American Institute of Bisexuality Incorporated.
Eisner, Shiri. (2013). Bi: Notes For a Bisexual Revolution. USA. Seal Press.
Angelides, Seven. (2001). A History of Bisexuality (The Chicago Series on Sexuality, History and Society). USA. University of Chicago Press.