Mykel and Nix, One of many relationship dynamic’s
How did you two meet?
Funnily enough we met on a facebook game called ‘Human Pets’ where you adopt an animal persona, choose to an owner or pet (or both), and can be ‘bought’ or ‘sold’ with in game funds (not real money). I bought Nix from a guy in the UK who wasn’t too happy about it ;) She’s been my pet ever since. At first our relationship was long distance, only seeing each other a few times over 2 years, but then eventually Nix moved to BC.
What is your relationship dynamic called? (Name and description)
We call it a Master/pet dynamic, which is a style of Dominant/submissive relationship. The best way for me to describe it is to compare it to a real life owner/pet relationship with say a beloved cat or dog. I cherish Nix, I provide for her, protect her and see to her needs. In turn she gives me love, affection, companionship and takes care of my needs. Our dynamic differs somewhat from the Master/slave dynamic as there are no service requirements from Nix, but she does obey me (for the better part) as I am her Master and choose what is best for her/us.
You’re married now, how long was it till you went into the lifestyle together?
We’ve been in our dynamic from day 1 as I was her online ‘owner’ and that just developed and evolved over time. As far as including other people, we talked about it a lot over the two years we spent long distance, then when Nix moved here, we waited a few years to let our relationship evolve and get a firm foundation. By the time we played with other people, we were more than ready and had the communication tools we needed to address any situation we might come across.
What happens if Nix if a 'bad kitty'?
Here’s a thing I struggle with all the time. While Nix is rarely if ever ‘bad’ per se’, there have been slip-ups (breaches of protocol, back-talking etc.), and I address these on a case-by-case basis. Where I have struggles, is how I punish her. At first we used light to medium intensity flogging, but as that really isn’t a punishment for her, it was more symbolic that actual punishment. Later with more serious infractions I used hard anal sex as punishment, but here’s the thing; as I don’t have any desire to actually hurt or damage Nix, this also is a pleasurable experience for her (at least during, not so much the days following), thus ultimately not an effective deterrent.
So how do I punish someone who I love, cherish, and don’t want to cause any physical pain to?? The answer: internet/phone grounding. I take away her Internet and phone privileges for an evening or weekend, and that seems to get her attention.
Communication before play? Break it down for us.
Firstly, we have a standard set of ‘rules/protocols’ when it comes to various types of play; those don’t need to be discussed every time, but reviewed as needed.
Other than that, we talk about everything before, during, and after. I’m going to frame this in a playing with another couple scenario. When we meet a new couple in the scene that we may potentially play with, we’ll often discuss what we like about them and if they would be people we’d like to get to know better. If we both find the couple attractive, we’ll then play out sexy scenarios involving them through shared fantasy and role-playing, and figure what level of play we would like to engage with them in. Then when it comes to play, we are very invested in the other’s pleasure, so we rarely have to check-in as we can pretty much gauge each other’s mood, and enjoyment at a glance. That being said, if an undiscussed situation arises (like they often do), we will check in with each other go from there. Afterward, we always relive our experience with each other, discussing highlights and low-points if there were any and use each situation to learn more about one another, our relationship, and ourselves. Ultimately every experience becomes a positive one.
What is ok and not ok for you two? In a boundary sense. What does the word boundary mean to you and Are there different boundaries between the two of you?
This is an easy one as we only have one Boundary: Don’t do anything that would hurt each other or our relationship. Period.
What are some common Questions people asking the two of you and what are the answers?
Mostly people ask us how we manage to have our Master/pet relationship on a 24/7 basis, and how it works day-to-day. Our answers are generally the same: work, patience, understanding, and love. I usually try to deter people in new relationships from jumping right into a 24/7 lifestyle like ours, as it can be a serious struggle for everyone included and if not done correctly will be a relationship killer.
Do you two hide your lifestyle from your family? If so how, and if not explain.
For me no, I don’t hide anything more than anyone else would (I don’t give intimate details about our sex life etc.), but my family is aware of our dynamic and our relationships outside our marriage. Nix is more secretive, keeping her family life and personal life separate. It’s fairly easy for her as her family lives outside the city/province.
Are you careful with what you post on the internet?
Yes and no. We’re well aware that once anything is posted online it’s there forever and act accordingly, but not really concerned. Nix doesn’t post lifestyle related things on her personal social media accounts, but we have LS accounts that we do share quite a bit on.
Do you have a safe word?
Nope, never have. The closest we’ve ever come is me having Nix hold a scarf while cuffed on a St. Andrew’s Cross during a public ‘torture’ scene, where the music was really loud and she was blindfolded (I couldn’t see her eyes). If she dropped the scarf, she would need a check in. She never dropped the scarf.
What does a normal week for you to look like?
Just like anyone else’s really, we take life day by day. We play with other people most weekends, having a select group of regular playmates.
Tell me a short story that happened when something went sidewise and how you handled it?
The thing with us is that if/when something goes sideways, we address it accordingly then, then let it go completely, which includes bringing it up again in an interview ;)
Something I would like to add which I think is vital to anyone entering into any form of (healthy) D/s relationship; While I’m the controlling factor in our relationship, and have the last word on any major decision, from financial things to who, when, and how we play, I make every decision with Nix’s happiness and well being my FIRST priority.
The second being the health of our relationship, and my needs/desires follow that. Without that kind of care and understanding for you pet (submissive) you are not a Dom(me) in my opinion, but a bully.
Thanks, really enjoyed answering your questions ☺
~Answers done by 'Master' Mykel
Hope you enjoyed this interview, I know I did!
More relationship dynamics on the way...
Just remember every dynamic is different even if the label is there.
Love more, Fear less.
(photo credit: Paixões - fantasy)