Escaping from reality
Vacations…. Life’s escape from our reality…
Do you go on Vacation every year? Save up your money by working hard to go to a place you want to be? I was that person and I know a lot of people who are doing the same… We escape, we go to wonderful places full of fun to relax… to play… to let go and be free…
But what if I could tell you, you didn’t need to spend your time saving money in order to have these things… In order to relax, be free and be yourself without judgment (because no one we know is there).
We spend our lives saving to escape to another destination. But what are we running from? What don’t we have in our life? What makes us want to run? Is it stress? Is it fear? Is it change? Is it society that pounds in us to go every year somewhere in order to live? What is your reason?
To be honest mine was to relax, to escape, to be free…
Until I realized and asked “What was I running from?”, I came to my senses and realized what I needed to ‘fix’ or rather change in the first place. Change what was giving me that pull in the first place.
Here is what I changed that might help you:
Clean out your space of things and people, that doesn’t serve you anymore.
Create an action plan, a schedule to make sure you are on track.
Make time for yourself, meditate, take a bath, have sex, go dance, spend time in nature!
Ask for help and receive help.
1. Clean out your space of things and people, that doesn’t serve you anymore.
This is where I built up my life, where I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, and whom I wanted to spend time with.
I realized I was creating memories that provided short-term feelings of relief but I wanted long-term gains. I started Cleaning out my space…
I decluttered my wardrobe; I still had clothes and shoes with price tags still on them! If I didn’t wear them for a year I knew I wasn’t going to ever wear it. There are tons of ways to get rid of cloths, Value village, Salvation Army, donation bins, selling it on FB(Facebook) or Craigslist and one of my favorite swapping clothes with my girlfriends. Who doesn’t like a night of swapping clothes? You might pick up something you adore and love while getting rid of things you don’t even wear anymore!
After, a clean house and clean wardrobe, I go on FB and see who I haven’t talked to in the past year, then I delete them. Do you really think having a trillion FB friends or none is real? For me, I do this every year to make sure I keep people on mine who I; one, can remember and, two, know we have value for each other.
Now comes a hard part: decluttering your life of people who no longer serve you…
This one is hard to do for most people and it is hard for me too, as I’m only human and I have feelings too. That being said, I want to make sure that I surround myself with people who are serving me in my life and me in theirs. If we don’t share the same values and drive, it’s simple for me to know and I don’t want to waste both of our time making something work, when I know deep down we are only keeping each other away from the people we truly do connect and work well with.
I know sometimes we make excuses like we have known them for so long, s/he is just going through a phase, it’s simpler to just let things be.
“There comes a point in your life when you realize: Who matters, Who never did, Who won’t anymore, And who always will. So, don’t worry about people from your past, there’s a reason why they didn’t make it to your future.” ― Adam Lindsay Gordon
It’s inevitable, people change and even you change. People come into your life for a reason and you in there’s. You get a mirror into yourself from them. You learn something from them or you teach them something, sometimes without even or ever realizing it. Learn to release and let go of things and people who don’t serve you and you make room for things and people that do.
Organization was something I always loved but I was always cramming too much into my day to the point I was always disappointed in the end. I still finished a lot of projects, cleaned up and checked off most things from my list but never was fully satisfied with the way things were. I truly felt lost and undeniably knew I was doing things all ‘wrong’ … does this sound familiar?
Here’s how I started to get back my organization and started:
2. creating an action plan, a schedule to make sure you are on track….
The night before I make a list. Yes before the day even came, I made sure I didn’t waste time creating a schedule. If you do this in the morning, cool too, it’s all up to what works best for you. I put it in two categories: 1) things I would like to get done, and 2) things I don’t want to do. Now what in the category #2 is important and you have to get done? Do that first! That’s right I said it. Do what you hate but have to get done first in order to leave the rest of your day with things you like doing. In other sense “Eat the Frog!” (Brain Stacey).
Now by the end of the day you checked off most of the things but something is different, you did what you needed to do for that day! *high five* Now right in a journal what things you got done, one thing that made an impact for your future. What things did you do for your happiness and what are the things do you have gratitude for? Now “celebrag” your wins! Write down your next action steps for the next day and 30 minutes before bed and meditate, turn off electronics, light candles, read a book, get your brain ready to rest. The best part of this is reviewing how far you have come and everything you have achieved in the last 7, 14, 30 days. It’s a wonderful feeling! Give yourself a high five, a pat on the back.
3. Make time for yourself, meditate, take a bath, have sex, go dance, draw, run, spend time in nature! This is a huge one! We find ourselves sometimes overworked, stressed out and repeating this over after every weekend of playing catch up with the things we didn’t get to during the workweek. Setting some time to yourself to recharge your own internal batteries and reframe will do wonders for you and your environment.
Being an overly sensitive person to energy’s, being around people that are overly stressed and all over the place without making effort to change, I can feel out of place and I tend to have to distance myself a little if it’s too much. Over the years, I learnt how to channel my own energy to not get as affected, but that’s another conversation. By taking time to recharge will help you feel more aligned, let your brain focus and let go of unwanted vibrations in your body.
Would you want to hang out with me if I was doing a million things at once and told you I had no time to breathe, let alone take a break? No,. I wouldn’t even want to be around me either. So, breath, take a break and make sure you take some time for yourself. It’s been proven that taking breaks and downtime boosts productivity level, helps us retain information, make connections and help us focus.
“…Deactivating and reactivating your goals allows you to stay focused,” he said. “From a practical standpoint, our research suggests that, when faced with long tasks (such as studying before a final exam or doing your taxes), it is best to impose brief breaks on yourself. Brief mental breaks will actually help you stay focused on your task!” - University of Illinois psychology professor Alejandro Lleras.
4. Asking for help and receive help
This next one was a struggle for me to concur as I thought receiving help from someone made me look weak or made me seem I couldn’t handle things on my own. This was far from the truth and overcoming that sense was just saying “who cares” and in reality, it was only me whom I was facing this battle with. ‘Asking for help and receive help’ was my biggest turning point. It was my biggest strength to know I couldn’t do everything and no one can, truly. Everyone has their talents and skills they possess within. You just have to be able to let go of the things you’re not good at and release them. That way you can be at your fullest capacity at the things you are great at and delegate to others where they shine. There will be someone out there who likes doing what you dislike doing, so why struggle and grind your teeth, when someone else is willing, able and capable to do the same thing with ease and strength.
5. Say no
This says it all. Be confident in your no’s. Be assertive, be direct and trust your gut. Ask yourself, “are you doing this for them? or doing it for you?” This comes down to your own self value. Are you trying to get others to like you? or their approval? If so, your saying their opinion and thoughts of you are more valuable than your own thoughts and opinion of you. Ummmmm, that sounds like low self value. Just remember, everyone is unique, have their own set of opinions, thoughts and beliefs. As do you, and no one is quite like you are. So, own yourself and self worth, say non-when you mean. Own your ‘no’.
In conclusion, I have mini rituals I do throughout the day depending on the day. Everything is always shifting, changing and re-calibrating to what life throws at us. So why not make it easier and less stressful by clearing out, taking action, making time for self-care, practice giving and receiving. Most importantly holding your ground when needing to and saying no to things, people or situations that don’t serve you in your best self.
I hope you took in some new practices to think about and check in where things are serving you best.
Keep growing, changing and grounding.
Love more, Fear less.